How Not to Run a Satellite Provider

September 18, 2006

DirecTVJust in case you’ve ever wondered to yourself ‘self: how could we really damage the reputation of our satellite business?’ fear not, I’ve got some good examples for you. First build the biggest pay-TV satellite operation in the world and then ignore HD, while your closest competitor slowly but surely builds up their HD offerings.

Ah lets see, what would be a good HD channel ratio to allow your competitor to reach? four times as many HD channels should do it. From there even when you add HD content you’ll want to add it slowly, for kicks you could even down-res* 1920×1080 to 1440x1080i, that’s always a crowd pleaser. Maybe your dissatisfied subscribers will even coin a catchy nickname for the practice.

Of course since you’re already strapped for bandwidth you’ll probably want to replace channels like TNT-HD on Sunday evenings with NFL Sunday Ticket HD. You know that’s a really good idea, replacing packaged channels with premium subscription channels, nothing like having something you’re already paying for replaced by an up-charged ala carte package you may not even be interested in.

By now you’ve probably already realized that the satellite TV business may not be as profitable as you once thought, what you need to do now is openly call it a “turd bird” yes that will really fire up your potential buyers into taking it off yours hands. This my friends is how not to run a satellite business.

Jokes aside, I have no idea if DirecTV will overcome these problems and satisfy their HD subscribers before Rupert Murdoch throws in the towel, in all honesty HD subscribers probably aren’t even DirecTV’s main focus at the moment. However with more and more HDTV’s being sold everyday, staying competitive with DISH Network’s HD offerings should become a greater focus over at DirecTV, time will tell if they heed the call.

*DISH is guilty of this as well, but with 4 times the channels they almost get a pass.

Posted by Bryan Greenway | | Filed Under DirecTV News